I am a Christmas man, but your questionable behavior is not out of Wikileak's jurisdiction. What goes on in your workshop behind closed doors? And are you really the super-power you claim to be?
I flew my henchmen out to the North Pole to find some answers. They found no evidence of your operation. What are you hiding?
It's a lose/lose situation for you Santa. Under the magnifying glass we may uncover that these "elves" you use are just hundreds of orphaned children working in the most successful sweatshop in history. Or maybe there is no "Santa's workshop" at all, and you're just another obese fraud spinning a web of lies with America's corporate giants.
So let's make a deal. Wikileaks will cease the attempt of exposing your disturbing truths if, no later than Christmas morning, I find the following under my tree:
- Night-vision goggles
- The entire series of LOST on DVD
- A North Face hard shell ski jacket
- Dr. Dre's "Beats" headphones.
If you decide to put me on your naughty list, don't say I didn't warn you.
Sincerely,
Julian Assange
