The Adventures of Tom Longnose

So I used to have this character I drew in 8th grade to avoid paying attention in class.  His name was Tom Longnose, and he always ended up doing inappropriate things with his rather long nose.  Here's an old MS Paint sketch.

Here they come, the Ding-Donkers.

The guido, the hipster, the hick, the prep - America is host to many counter cultures whom we love to hate.  They are easily spotted, and however open minded we think we are, these people consistently reinforce their stereotypes right in front of us.  Recently, America has spawned a new breed of counter culture individuals.  They are here, they are growing, and we all know some (even if they deny their label).  Yes... I am talking about the Ding-Donkers.

The Ding-Donkers, also known as "Donks" or "Dingy D's" are taking over America like wildfire.  Their culture derived from the socially outgoing prog-rock gardening/chemistry movement in the early 2000's, which originated in affluent suburbs.  With their wooden feet, goofy hats, and green boxes chained to their ankles to that say, "I'm too Donker for backpacks", the Ding-Donkers are here to stay... at least for a while.

Not sure how to spot a Ding-Donker?  Here are some clues:

- Constant waving at strangers

- Decorative elbow tassels and grapes at hand

- Fake uni-brow and carefully shaped double dotted moustache

- Silly hat and wooden feet

- Obsession with Phil Collins

- Keen interest in gardening and chemistry

Some are ready for the Ding-Donker invasion, others are not.  "They think they're so cool with their fake uni-brows and elbow tassles.  I don't like them" says a USC student.  "They're okay, I just don't understand why they're always waving at people they don't know, it's kind of strange" says a supermarket employee.  "Why don't they just carry a bag or something instead of dragging around their shit by a fucking box chained to their ankle?" says a dad.  

Whether we like it or not, maybe the best action to take is to simply embrace the Ding-Donkers.  After all, America prides its self in diversity, and who knows, give a Ding-Donker a chance... you might learn something.