Follow along.

This is a mom.

This is some hair

This is a cut.

And this, is a mom hair-cut.

Al Gore's Twitter Activity

- I just ate breakfast. 8:00am
- I am wearing a suit. 9:00am
- I don't have any pencils right now.  Only pens.  10:00am
- I am at Office Max, about to buy some pencils.  10:20am
- I just bought some pencils. 10:25am
- I am on the phone with my publicist.  11:20am
- I am almost done with my phonecall with my publicist, about to hang up.  11:30am
- I just got off the phone with my publicist.  11:30am
- If I had a dog I would give someone else the job of naming it.  11:31am
- The traffic and weather reports look okay.  12:00pm
- I am eating lunch right now with an important investor.  12:30pm
- The investor needs some more convincing to invest in my project.  12:40pm
- The investor wants to inject less money than I am asking for.  12:40pm
- I am trying to negotiate but he still does not want to give me as much as I would like.  12:45pm
- The investor wants me to put my Blackberry away.  12:48pm
- The waiter is bringing us dessert menus.  12:49pm
- The investor keeps waving his hand in front of my face and snapping his fingers while I'm trying to type this.  1:00pm
- Enjoying the vanilla ice cream I ordered.  1:05pm
- No offers from the investor.  Not sure what went wrong.  1:15pm
- I turned the temperature down from 70 degrees to 68 degrees in my office.  3:00pm
- Checking my emails.  About to go home.  6:00pm
- Driving home right now.  It is raining and traffic is not good.  The reports were wrong.  6:20pm
- Watching C-SPAN with my wife.  She said she wants to make love.  I told her we can do that after C-SPAN is over.  7:00pm
- About to make love to my wife.  9:10pm
- Making love to my wife.  9:45pm
- The traffic and weather reports look okay for tomorrow.  I hope they're right this time.  9:46pm
- My wife is making peculiar noises.  I need to find a new investor for my project.  9:48pm
- My wife is sweaty.  I should probably turn the heat down from 70 degrees to 68 degrees.   10:00pm
- I am in the shower.  The directions on the shampoo bottle say to "wash, rinse, and repeat."  10:05pm
- Washing.  10:06am
- Rinsing.  10:07pm
- Repeating.  10:08pm
- Going to sleep now.  10:20pm
- I am sleeping.  10:30pm

I allowed the kids to stay up late for this one.

Julian Assange's Letter to Santa

Dear Santa,

I am a Christmas man, but your questionable behavior is not out of Wikileak's jurisdiction.  What goes on in your workshop behind closed doors?  And are you really the super-power you claim to be? 

I flew my henchmen out to the North Pole to find some answers.  They found no evidence of your operation.  What are you hiding?

It's a lose/lose situation for you Santa.  Under the magnifying glass we may uncover that these "elves" you use are just hundreds of orphaned children working in the most successful sweatshop in history.  Or maybe there is no "Santa's workshop" at all, and you're just another obese fraud spinning a web of lies with America's corporate giants.

So let's make a deal.  Wikileaks will cease the attempt of exposing your disturbing truths if, no later than Christmas morning, I find the following under my tree:
- Night-vision goggles
- The entire series of LOST on DVD
- A North Face hard shell ski jacket
- Dr. Dre's "Beats" headphones.

If you decide to put me on your naughty list, don't say I didn't warn you.

Sincerely,

Julian Assange

For some reason whenever I watch the Lakers I think of these guys

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at 2:40 the most dangerous bully defense move ever is revealed

This week's edition of Under Tumdrop's Bed

Can you guess what Mr. Tumdrop had under his bed this week?

This week it was: a robot, a bacon-cake, and a woman's belt!

 

Brought to you by Serta.

DePauw University's brilliant young minds at work.

A Very Christopher Walken Thanksgiving

CEIG: What do you think of when you think of Thanksgiving?

CW: To be honest?  If we're being honest here, I think of a full moon night, the kind of night where the moon is so bright you almost have to squint when you look at it, and the grass almost has a blueish hue...very surreal.  After that, I think of a room I used to have called the phone room - a single room in my house with nothing but a phone and a tiny stool - it's where I used to do business.  However, my phone broke, and as you may know from experience, a broken phone is about as useful as... an untrained mule in a parking lot.  If you want to know how I broke it, I'll tell you it was my fault.  What happened was, I was in the middle of a business call with my manager, and... he began to eat an avocado.  I don't know if you have ever listened to someone eating an avocado over the phone, but it sounds... very childish, and disturbing.  In a fit of contempt, I threw my phone at the wall.  Now... these days I find it much more difficult to get business done around here, considering... I have no phone in my phone room.  But... you don't want to hear me complain.  Shit, who does?  It won't make either of our lives better, yet it's all part of the big dance, ya know?

Happy Thanksgiving!

Dude... teach me.

How to leave a voicemail message like a pro.

This is what shows up if you type "cool" into the Microsoft Clip Art search

This is probably my favorite music video of all time

The Far Side Tribute

The best and only comic strip I read as a kid.  Here are some favorites that I could fine online.

Check out the crazy high-fiving skills at 2:20

10 more ridiculous names that are borderline believable

1. Nelty Candlecut
2. Boris Junglebone
3. Dulk Harmwater
4. Cunn Tuntman
5. Barina Sadsack
6. Dr. Thirsty
7. Arnold Fingersand
8. Christmas Flaphammer
9. Vostalgia Bagstacker
10. Runkel J. Tumblebee

Who better than Bill Gates to discover that computers and ecstasy don't mix?

Here is a re-enactment of a typical morning for me after blacking out

Animal thoughts.

Non-English English song

An Italian singer wrote a song of English gibberish, to show what English sounds like to people who don't know the language.  Its pretty funky I like it.